I've been so busy making everyone else happy that I have somehow lost myself during it all. I stopped working on me, the me I want to be, & I've been working on the "me" that makes everyone else happy. Nightly I have a cry till I fall asleep, or I just lay there & watch her sleep. Days after those kinda nights kill me because I have little to no energy, & I just ain't happy.
This life I'm living, is no longer mine. It's not the life I chose or want for that matter, but I just sit here & smile. No one notices that I'm miserable, my smile hides it well...
How do you tell the people you hold close to your heart & love dearly that they are making your life one you are no longer happy with? How do you tell them they need to let go & let you go your own way & start fresh? How do you tell them you love them more then anything, but there needs to be change before you walk out the door & don't return?
I have yet to figure out how to say anything, so here I am sitting here with my music blasted in my ears, my heart aching, & tears forming in my eyes...When I do figure the words out, maybe I'll get somewhere, but I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. I'm gonna take things one day at a time & pray things work themselves out sooner then later because as it stands I'm ready for the change I need, but no one else currently is.
(**On a side note, this is my personal feelings about a situation that is currently happening in my life, it's nothing to do with death or anything of the sorts**)
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